Confessions of a Drama Junkie

Stone me for being a terrible blogger!! I have always loved writing but won't go near it if not in the mood. I will leave you all with my best excuse, I had a headache. "haha"

So what have I been doing lately? Reading! It's a favorite hobby of mine and I cannot seem to get enough of Michelle Moran's wonderful books! I've read her first three and am looking forward to this next one coming in March of next year. She does such an amazing job at making history come alive again, and it is as if I can live the lives of my heroes. Before her, I had to imagine all those people, but with her gift of writing, I've come to feel as if I've known them! She's taken me from the Armana Period (just before King Tut) of Ancient Egypt, to the rule of Ramesses II, all the way to the twins of Cleopatra and Marc Antony!!! How amazing is she!? I absolutely love her and I cannot wait for her next book, "Madame Tussaud: A Novel." This one portrays a woman who lived during the French Revolution and survived! A woman I have never heard of, just like how I'd never heard of Cleopatra's twins. This woman somehow never mentioned in history books meets people such as Jefferson and the Empress Josephine! She was right in the middle of all the action; this book is going to be a good one!

I not only love her for bringing history to life, and making it fun, she also seems to pick people to write about that I am so very interested in. It is as if we have so much in common. I have read some of her blog, which is mostly composed of articles that mention modern discoveries of the ancient world, and can see how alike our interests are. She was even a high school teacher! Much like I plan to be! Finally, an author who I feel is made of my own soul. =)

Besides reading, I have also been apartment hunting! Finally agreeing with Ryan that we're both ready to move-in together, we have been looking all over Ypsilanti for a home. The problem was, every place we saw was too small, too expensive, or amongst the "ghetto," as the tenants called it. So, when we came upon Rivers Edge Apartments, just across from EMU and noticed they had new management, I jumped into the research. Finally a place that offers amazingly spacious floor plans, under $700, and I could literally walk to school, safely! We have an appointment this coming Saturday to review the place and if all goes well, we will begin the process of becoming renters! This is all so exciting and frightening for me and him! Him and I have also discussed that should this "living together thing" work out, we may just journey into...engagement. "WHOA!" I can't believe how fast it seems my life is going by and how quickly it will all begin to take shape. I am almost 21 and I feel like I'm still 16! How in the world am I actually comfortable talking about marriage? Somehow, it just feels right, and only time will tell what we decide together.

With all the excitement of the apartment, I have been looking into all the possibilities for furnishing it. We have a very nice spending limit, so I know I can find plenty of things! We need everything, from couches and a bed to dishes and tables! We are completely without things of our own! So, this is just what I want! I get to make that apartment ours and it can look as good as I want it to, without spending too much. Don't get me wrong, I know about quality, but I'd like to save as much as I can where I can.

See what happens when I don't blog very often, I actually have the excitement to write and I have something mildly interesting to write about! So, give me a break and you will actually enjoy reading what I write, lol. Until I get the desire to write again, Adios!

I was recently forced to read an essay on the science behind a kiss. I am one of the few people I know who would ever think this was an interesting read. I'm a loser, I shall admit. The science of kissing, sex, pregnancy, almost everything dealing with the human emotions and stages of life leave me without enough words to express all that excitement. I suppose loser was the wrong word, a nerd is the better option. Which is why I love being in a relationship with Ryan, because we can be nerds together. =)

You know what I miss?  I miss the simplicity of high school.  Before my entire future was being based on everything I did, well it was but I didn't care to notice.  When I could be amongst all my friends for hours everyday, and when nothing really mattered yet.  Now I am researching places to live someday and thinking about what schools I need to go to in order to have the house of my dreams.  Since when did these things become important?  I found myself feeling way too old when Ryan told me he passed three classes with a C- and I said, "and that's an accomplishment?"  HAHA  In high school, I did the exact same thing!  Minimal effort, to make my life easier, well my life for the moment. 

I hate myself for not having anything better to write about, and a part of me is even too embarrassed to post this boring one, but who knows, maybe someone will at least watch the movie. lol.  I promise to make a better blog here soon!

What a week this has been! Games, friends, a party or two, and lots of time with Ryan. It has been awesome and now I just wish I didn't have to go back to being the responsible young adult I have to be these days. Why didn't anyone slap me when I said, "being in high school is too hard." lol.

ADIOS!

Ryan underneath an Allosaurus at the Exhibit Museum in Ann Arbor.
We had a really awesome day!
For those who didn't already know, Ryan wants to become a museum curator someday.
So he can use his knowledge and creativity to display his passions.  =)




Fuzzball and Zephyr.  They're both boys, but they cuddle more than Ryan and I do!



No offense, but I hate it when guys wear dresses!  It just dosn't compliment our shape!



Who in America doesn't know Recees, Snickers, and M&M's are "hot sellers"???



I like to call this one, Motherhood.  HAHA.

More pics from the Museum.  =)  Enjoy...

Sorry for not having a new post for the last few days, there never seemed enough to really add anything to the blog. I suppose since waiting for so long, only a few days, I have enough to make a decent post. To start things off, Ryan and I went to visit his Aunt Jo and her ex-husband Uncle John. His aunt is one of the kindest woman I have ever met! She is a true Christian, she never casts judgment for that is God's place and not hers. You have to admire someone who knows their place! lol. She was Ryan's first relative to accept mine and his relationship and also the first to embrace me as one of the family. I was at first uncomfortable with how comfortable she was with me! She asked me to think of her as an "in-law" which was not the most relaxing thing to hear. If I wasn't afraid of commitment before, she sure brought it home! Still, occasionally we go and see her. She lives in an apartment alone and her home definitely reflects her personality! She has pink walls and lots of religious art! Phrases from the Bible cover her living room and her older than old couch reflects a time in which flower print furniture was a "hip" thing. lol. Although to be honest, her couch is really comfy. Another thing that clutters her walls are more video tapes than I would think could possible fit in such a small place. She has recorded more movies than I have probably seen and keeps countless home videos which keep Ryan and I entertained for the few hours we spend with her from time to time. These videos have given Ryan and myself some of the only glimpses of his childhood as well as his deceased biological parents. (I would put more to that story but Ryan's asked me to keep it personal, in case you didn't know, he refers to his maternal grandparents as "Mom" and "Dad" now).

I have become obsessed with his birth-mother. Always wondering what she was like and how she would have looked. The few videos we have seen can give me some ideas onto this, but my imagination still keeps going. I see a longing in Ryan's eyes whenever he sees those tapes, and he immediately distances himself from the rest of the people in the room. Not physically, but mentally and emotionally. I can tell something "clicks" as soon as they are on the screen. As if he is trying to remember something he can't. Her voice is only through recordings and her smile will always be pixilated. If there was one thing I could wish for him, it would either be for him to get one true memory of his parents or to even defy the laws of life and death by giving him the chance to see and feel them again.

Ryan's heart not only aches for those he cannot ever have back, but also for those he has. Being that Ryan's grandparents are much older than even mine, (they are hitting their 70's soon), he knows that they will die long before he is ready to be without parents. I have stayed awake some nights, listening to him talk about that day and seeing his eyes fill with tears. His regrets will surface immediately whenever this conversation comes up. "Did I spend enough time with them? Do they really know how much I love and need them? Could I have been better behaved? Did I truly value them for what they were worth?" I cannot understand this kind of pain, he is alone. I guess I can look at my own parents' age as a blessing. They are not even forty yet and so I still have many years to be with them, should nothing tragic happen of course. Ryan, on the other hand, has to face the fact that his parents may never see his own children and the man he will someday become. I desperately wish things could be different but as they say, "everything happens for a reason."

Ryan's parents dying before he will ever be ready for will give him something as well as take something away. Though no amount of money is worth the love of a parent, it will still help him in the long-run. Ryan will inherit enough money to create a comfortable life for him and his family, as well as property should he choose to keep it. In some sense, by having both sets of parents die, they have guaranteed Ryan a comfortable, stable life as well as a good future for his own children.

Well, I apologize for the "downer" post, but it has been on both of our minds for a few days and I really needed to get it out. Next time I can post something a little more..."upbeat" perhaps. Until next time, Adios, readers!

For whatever reason today was laundry day. The reason for my shock and disgust is, I was not informed until I walked by a mountain of clothes piled onto a basket in the corner of the living room. As soon as I noticed what it was, I diverted my eyes, hoping Rick wouldn't observe me acknowledging its presence. A voice echoed through my head, "pleeeeeaaase don't let those be clean!" Clean clothes in a pile only mean one thing, it's my turn to fold them. Imagine me crying in a dark room and you have the mental picture I get whenever I see that pile of clothes.


Before my demise by this pile of death, I was having a wonderful and relaxing Saturday morning. Ryan and I woke up around nine to the phone ringing. I have to point something out, when I hear a phone ring, I don't just get up...I run as if it is life or death! It is a race between my feet and that dreadfully annoying answering machine, so I run as fast as I can to beat it like the scum it is. I never understood how people can just sit in a room with a phone ringing and ignore it, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!? A phone ringing means someone loves you and letting the machine get it is like telling them to go to Hell. Upon answering the call for love, I realized it was Ryan's mom. I then walked back to the bed to hand him the phone, and then out again to see what time it was. Coming back into the room, I see him face down into the pillow. "They must have asked him to DO something," I think to myself. Ryan has a process of waking up and let me explain what that is...

Step 1: Slowly open eyes and adjust to lighting
Step 2: Look for time.
Step 3: Acknowledge time.
Step 4: Grunt and clear throat
Step 5: Hit pillow or nearest object
Step 6: If someone is talking to him, he must snap at them.
Step 7: Again hit pillow and grunt.
Step 8: Finally sit up and face the fact, it's morning.

As you can see, he is definitly a morning person!  I do my best to just avoid him while waking up and if I should cross him, I hold my tongue so that it doesn't get ugly. Today he had to go shovel his driveway which is not much work since he has a snow blower. That little fact must have been why he didn't need to snap at me before he took off. Might I again mention that when Ryan has to go home, he walks next door, so it's not a hard task for him.

After he left I spent my time watching my favorite Showtime series, "The Tudors." (season 1 pic to left)Allow me to be an advertisement for the show, it is a modern idea on the lives of Henry VIII's court back in the 16th century. I love it, but there are a few “dabbings” of "cool" to make sure the modern audience will watch it. For instance, I would kill for their clothes and they have more sex than any British person probably ever has. hahaha.

Other than these few things, not much else has gone on today, Rick went snowmobiling with his brother and had an accident. Turns out, his boss went for the first time and crashed. Ryan and I had a good laugh, but I'm sure his boss won't be when he gets his shoulder popped back into place. Ouch!

Now as I sit here and write another blog I am left wondering why in the world I have a boyfriend who would much rather play "Jurrassic Park" games than hang out with me more. I know we all have our hobbies, but I get more jealous of those games than Hilary Clinton must have felt about Bill's "office meetings" with Monica. I know my jealousy has no real basis, but it just seems like he loves his computers more than I've ever seen him love a person. You should see the way he looks at her. It's gotten so bad, we actually call his computer his "Mistress". Ya, sad. Have any of you ever had an inanimate object come between your relationships or is this just me?

To change topics quickly, as those of us with A.D.D do, I ended up making the minor changes to Blaze's terrarium. He doesn't have the bi-level enclosure that I wanted, but I made it pretty awesome never the less. Below are two pictures, the top is before and the bottom is after. I added a new log, and a few decorative pieces from my room, though he's from Africa and not India like the pieces themselves. He seems to be enjoying it and I'm glad he likes it.

Ellen was the first person to speak to me, she asked if I was going to JCC, as the driver had already mentioned. After I answered her she proceeded to introduce herself. I always do my best to catch the passenger's names, as it's not always clear what they're saying. She asked a few
more harmless questions and then turned to continue gazing out the obscenely large windows found on public transport vehicles.

It was after this simple conversation that I began to notice a strange feeling. I was uncomfortable and the reasons for it only made me more on edge. I was an outsider! Here, on a van full of the mentally impaired of Adrian, I was wishing I could fit in!? They had jokes I did not understand, friends I'd never met, and had done things I hadn't. I envied their closeness and familiarity to a world I don't have.

One might compare these thoughts and feelings to the bus ride to a new high school. It was surprisingly treacherous. All I kept thinking about was how glad I would be to get off the bus so I could feel like I belonged to something again. Was this how they felt off the bus and away from the HOPE center? How terrible their lives must be in just that aspect.

So you might be wondering why I found this so vital to write about. I am one of those people who used to avoid the mentally handicapped at all costs. I was afraid of them and I felt better than them. Until I got older and understood the concepts of humanity. Some people never learn this, and that is sad. Everyone knows what it's like to be an outsider, imagine that all the time, and having only one place where that feeling went away. I understand and respect Ellen a lot more now, since she saw me as one of "them" and decided to talk to me as one of "hers". =]

Well, until next time, ADIOS!