I Want a Better Title than This...
The countdown has begun for Ryan to go to Ecuador for two weeks. Not that I'm looking forward to it at all. I wonder when we started being so serious. Allow me to break the ice, with a secret I have been keeping from most of the people I know. We are moving in together this coming Fall... BOMBSHELL! lol. The reasons being, we finally decided we were ready for it. We have been best friends for almost four years and we basically live together now. He is with me more than he is home and we share our mornings together every weekend. Mornings and nights have become my favorite times. It's when we're completely alone and the "world falls away." We talk and laugh for hours. It's as if we do our best not to leave the room once we've laid down. Those conversations are definitly my favorite, when we talk about politics, religion, family, memories, whatever comes to mind and there is no harsh words or stress from the day. It's our space, and I love it. =) So, with the idea that when alone, we do so well since there isn't the pressure of the outside world, Ryan asked me if I was ready to move in together. At first, I said no, it was scary, but I came around on my own.
Ok, enough about him, my blogs supposed to be more about me anyways. Haha. I'm laying in bed at 1:20 in the morning and watching on of my absolute favorite movies, "Riding in Cars with Boys." It's about a girl who gets pregnant in the 60's and her journey as a mother ever since. Being forced into a marriage to make her parents happy, being forced into poverty by her husband's drug addiction and lack of work ethic, and then being forced to look at herself in the mirror and question her identity besides it all. It stars, my absolute fav. female actror, Drew Barrymore. She is, in my own mind, the exact image of a teenage mother and a woman who is just trying to make it through today and hopes for tomorrow to be better. I highly reccomend it!You know what I miss? I miss the simplicity of high school. Before my entire future was being based on everything I did, well it was but I didn't care to notice. When I could be amongst all my friends for hours everyday, and when nothing really mattered yet. Now I am researching places to live someday and thinking about what schools I need to go to in order to have the house of my dreams. Since when did these things become important? I found myself feeling way too old when Ryan told me he passed three classes with a C- and I said, "and that's an accomplishment?" HAHA In high school, I did the exact same thing! Minimal effort, to make my life easier, well my life for the moment.
I hate myself for not having anything better to write about, and a part of me is even too embarrassed to post this boring one, but who knows, maybe someone will at least watch the movie. lol. I promise to make a better blog here soon!
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