Confessions of a Drama Junkie

Ever had a simple phrase from a song inspire you enough to bring back something from your past, such as an old talent?  That's me right now, plus a mouthful of cornbread, finally ready to take up my blog again!  I know I'm a terrible blogger, I go months without writing.  I remember my therapist saying I needed things like this (short-term goals) but all I could ever think of in his office was how short I wanted the session to be.  My short-term goal was to act sane enough so he didn't think I was crazy, which I realize I kind of am.  That's what I've been doing, readers, since the last time I was on here, I have come to the conclusion, we're all crazy.  We're all nuts but no one wants to admit it, so we do everything we can to blend in and be normal, putting on our poker faces every morning (song change).  It's lead me to accept my own lack of sanity and embrace it.  Time to do things most would consider off the wall, but are just dying to do themselves.  I really think our lives are far too short to always be constraining ourselves.  Don't get me wrong, I don't want to support people hurting one another kinda crazy, just wearing your clothes backwards kinda crazy.  Kindergarten crazy. 

Any way, enough about all the crazy talk, let's move along to the catch-up portion of this blog.  I have been living in Ypsilanti for about half a year now, and loving everything but the neighborhood we picked.  I mean, we picked a questionable one and we just didn't know how boring it would be!  Everything fun is on the opposite side of EMU (where I am now attending school).  So, just like me, I'm packing my bags already and doing my best to get us out of here ASAP.  I love moving somewhere new, and this is a chance to get us to a more youthful neighborhood, one where I can really feel like I belong.  I got a job, I'm a cashier at Hillers Market, a local grocery store (Happily Michigan Owned!)  That's something to rant about another time, though.  We've adopted 2 conure parrots, Bonnie and Clyde.  They are the most demanding birds I've ever dealt with, the world is meant to revolve around them and there's no excuse if it doesn't.  Also living with us these days is my lovely Baby Girl, the cat.  She is definitely MINE, I love everything about her!

Readers, I am tired of always having to censor my thoughts and feelings to the world.  When I was a younger, and a more avid writer, I would be horrified at how proper I have become these days!  My job has made me think the customer is #1, and to a degree that is very true, but why am I never #1?  I began to realize I wasn't even #1 to myself and so I began making a change.  YOU will hear me, whoever you are, you will know how I am feeling and I will not be hushed.  Poor Ryan's had to deal with me becoming a little more selfish than ever, but I noticed I used to be way too wiling to give all of myself up to people just so they would like me.  I am in disbelief of the time I've wasted on other people's happiness above my own in my short 20 years (ALMOST 21!) of life so far.  MY life is about me isn't it?  Why do I feel like mine's about what I want to be, instead of loving who I am?  To add, why do I go so far to please others and hardly myself?  A special guy I once knew would never have done anything if it didn't make him happy, and though I hated it at the time, I kind of get it now and his words have been in my head these days.  "Why, if it's not doing anything for me?"  I don't have to be so selfless, and it's time the world knows it, right?  You should do the same thing, readers, TREAT YOURSELF!  INDULGE, EXPLORE, COME OUT OF HIDING, DO IT ALL NOW.  To make use of an over-used phrase, tomorrow's never guaranteed.